A man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder and orders a beer. The monkey hops off the mans shoulder and scurries down the bar to where the drinks are mixed. He finds a tray with olives in it and eats them all. He then eats all the lemon wedges, and then the cherries. The bartender says to the man “Did you see that?” The man says “See what?” The bartender says “Your monkey. He just ate all my olives, lemons and cherries. “Nope, didn’t see it but don’t worry. I’ll pay for it.”
After all of the trays were empty, the monkey scurries down the bar and leaps across to the pool table where he snatches up the cueball sticks it in his mouth and swallows it. The bartender says to the man “Hey man, you know what your monkey just did now?” The man says “naw, what?” The bartender says “Your monkey. First, he ate all my olives, then my lemons and cherries…. and now he’s ate my cueball.” the man said “Don’t suprise me none, little turkey eats everything in sight. Like I said, Don’t worry I’ll pay for anything he eats.” The man finishes his drink, pays the bartender, grabs the monkey and leaves.
Two weeks later the same man re-enters the bar with the monkey on his shoulder and orders a beer. The monkey scurries down the bar to the trays, he stops at a tray of cherries and looks at them closely. Then he picks up a cherry, reaches around and shoves the cherry up his butt. Then he pulls it out and eats it. The bartender said “Oh my word, Did you see what your monkey just did?” The man said “See what?” The bartender said “Your monkey, he just shoved one of my cherries up his butt then ate it!” The man chuckled and said “Don’t suprise me none, ever since he ate that cueball, he likes to measure everything first.”
